Have you ever had one of those moments when everything feels out of control and the waves of panic are coming in too high and too fast? Your thoughts keep rushing, no one seems to be listening, and you feel like you’re losing your grip on things? You might hear people saying things like “Chill out!”, “Calm down!”, or “Get a grip!”. You may even have found yourself saying those things to someone when you see them getting into a state about something. Have you noticed how those, well meaning, comments seem ineffective in the moment, and can even make the situation worse? Well, that’s quite understandable, and it’s no one’s fault. The good news is, there is something that can help, right there and then, that we take for granted because it seems too simple to be the answer. Just breathe!
I promise I’m not attempting to minimise the seriousness and sheer overwhelming horror of panic and anxiety. This really works, and by taking a few minutes now to read on and try out the techniques I suggest, you will find over time what a wonderful coping strategy you have at your disposal, and the great thing is, it’s completely free and available to you 24/7.
In order to know why breathing is effective in calming us down when we’re panicking, we first need to understand what is going on inside us when panic strikes.
Panic is a result of a natural, physical reaction to a trigger our brain perceives as a threat. Whether or not it really is a threat is kind of irrelevant once our innate, primitive survival instinct kicks in. A tiny part of our brain, called the Amygdala, sends out an alarm signal to other parts of the brain to get us ready for fight or flight (freeze, faint, submit, or cry for help). Our body then becomes awash with adrenaline and other chemicals that send signals to our muscles, bones, and organs telling us how to respond. In the meantime, the clever, thinking part of the brain, known as the Prefrontal Cortex, gets shut down as it is not a natural part of the primitive survival mechanism and can sometimes get in the way. This process takes nanoseconds and often the first we are aware of it is when our chest feels tight, we feel hot, tense, sick and can’t think clearly. If faced with real and immediate danger (a snake at our feet, or a lion about to pounce) we are equipped to respond in a way that saves our life. That process makes sense to us and we are in control again in a short space of time.
However, when there is no apparent danger, no clear trigger to explain us tripping into fight or flight mode, there is nothing to fight or run from, and therefore no immediate resolution to that feeling. This is called “Bottom-up Hijacking”. Something has happened to trigger our threat system, e.g. we have become overwhelmed by problems, our body is feeling depleted of resources, someone has said or done something to hurt us or reminds us of a past bad situation, and our Amygdala is responding as though we are in immediate danger. The Amygdala can’t tell the time, it is not capable of telling the difference between types of stress and memories of traumas, it is very all or nothing in its way of working - something is either a threat or it’s not. It’s our Prefrontal Cortex that helps us to distinguish between something that happened a long time ago or is happening in the present; accessing the ability to think rationally about what we are facing, and helping us solve the problem without fight or flight. But, that part of the brain has been switched off so it can’t intervene in that moment. That’s why all the rational arguments in the world won’t work at calming someone down in the moment of panic, we cannot access the part of the brain that is responsible for that way of thinking, we’re hijacked!
That’s where breathing comes in. In order to stop the panic, we need to trick the Amygdala into switching off and the Prefrontal Cortex into switching on again. The way to do this is to use our body to send signals back to the brain that we are safe, there is no immediate threat. Breathing helps us to do that in a matter of seconds. Notice how you breathe when you are anxious about something. See how it tends to be all from the upper chest and throat. Notice how it tends to be quick and shallow. That way of breathing is one of the first signs we have that we’re panicking. We then feel out of control, hypervigilant to any potential threat, our voice rises, our heart is racing, our hearing and vision become fuzzy around the edges but intensely focused in the centre. We can no longer think clearly. All the while feeling as though we are gasping for breath.
Now, notice what happens when you take in a big, deep breath through your nose and allow your chest and tummy to swell up with that in-breath. Then slowly release that breath allowing your tummy and chest to deflate. After a few of those breaths you will start to notice a shift in your body. Your heart rate will start to slow a little, you will feel slightly less tense, you will not be so hypervigilant. This is a sign that the Amygdala is switching off and the body is readjusting itself to a more relaxed state. After a few more breaths, you will start to notice more sights and sounds around you, you may start to hear people talking to you, trying to help you to calm. You may even start to notice yourself thinking again, possibly wondering what has just gone on, you may start to feel embarrassed and self-conscious. These are all signs that the Prefrontal Cortex is back online and you are becoming aware of yourself and surroundings again. It is as simple as that.
I have clients who tell me breathing doesn’t work for them. I tell them about when I chopped the top of my son’s thumb off when he was a baby, and I panicked, phoned the out of hours GP service, and was told by a very calm GP to hold a tissue on the thumb for five minutes. “I’ve been doing that” I shouted, “without peeking!” was the very patient reply at the other end of the phone. She was right of course. In my eagerness for the bleeding to stop I kept lifting the tissue off to see if it was working. My fear, guilt and impatience meant I repeatedly interrupted the healing process, thus rendering it ineffective. When we’re panicking we do the same thing. We do a couple of semi-deep breaths, still feel panicky and convince ourselves it’s not working. So I tell my clients to do what the GP told me, and keep it going for five minutes. Don’t stop to see if it’s working, just keep going and it will work.
Here is a script you can use to help you to practice breathing and rescue you from the “Bottom-up Hijacker”. I advise my clients to practice it whenever they can, it doesn’t matter if you are anxious or not, just practicing it will train your body and brain to respond to your breathing as a sign you are in control. At the end there is a line to prompt you into being kind to yourself. There is a very good reason for that. We are often very harsh on ourselves when we have panicked about something, so being kind is an essential way of not loading ourselves up with more bad feelings that could send us back into a panic again.
Make sure you are standing, sitting, or laying still and comfortable
Place one hand on your chest and your other hand on your tummy
First of all, notice where you are breathing from and how that feels for you
Then, take in a deep breath through your nose to the count of 5
Imagine that lovely fresh air flowing all the way down through your chest and into your tummy
Notice your tummy inflate with that lovely fresh air
Now, breath out through your mouth to the count of 8
Nice and slowly release that air and let your tummy and chest deflate
Now breath in again to the count of 5
Notice your hands move up and out as your chest and tummy inflate with that lovely fresh air
Then, slowly release that air breathing it out to the count of 8
If you notice any thoughts coming into your head, just acknowledge them and let them go
Just focus on your breathing
In to a count of 5
Out to a count of 8
Just breathe
Repeat for as long as it takes for you to notice yourself feeling more calm
Then, when you feel ready to finish breathing, say a big thank you to yourself for being wise and taking care of yourself
Once you have got to grips with this, there are all sorts of other wonderful techniques you can use to build on this. For example, using images in your mind to help to soothe you, listening to music that helps to calm or distract, making yourself a cup of tea, holding an object and focusing your attention on it, practicing yoga or meditation. All of these are fantastic ways of bringing more calm into your life, but essentially, all you need to do is Breathe!